My boss repeatedly puts me down in front of other people and discounts my ideas.  I need the job, and other jobs are scarce in my area.  What should I do?

Valerie

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Hi Valerie,

This is an example of workplace bullying.  If it continues, workplace bullying can adversely affect your health leading to depression, irritability, loss of sleep, etc.  The target frequently feels betrayed not only by the bullying attacks but also by the lack of support from their peers.  Good managers know to discuss concerns one-on-one to reduce defensiveness.  Since this is not happening, we should ask ourselves why he/she would choose to ostracize you in public. Perhaps nobody has taught them appropriate management skills.  More likely, they feel inadequate themselves, and put others down to establish their own relative importance.  There may be many other reasons as well.

We also need to honestly assess what capabilities and support network you have available to combat the problem.  Do you have supportive colleagues, friends, and family?  Many bullied targets are not sufficiently assertive to challenge their boss (although this is a skill that can be developed).  If you have the ability to ask your boss in a nonthreatening manner how they could provide negative feedback to you in private, consider it, but first develop your support network and discuss your strategy with your network.

Bullying is really a system problem.  We may need to determine if higher administration can be enlisted to help modify the behavior and prevent it in the future. If you plan to involve higher administration, you will want to gather specific information about dates, what was said, and the context.  Gather this information in a diary as soon after it happens as possible.  (Then, IN YOUR MIND, thank them for providing you with such great evidence.)  If you have truly determined that there will be little support from others, and the criticism is unjustified, you will need to tell yourself that you are not to blame,  (targets frequently blame themselves for the bullying) and start developing a support network wherever you can to find support.