Key Concepts you should know about bullying
1. Bullying is about Power. Physical bullying involves a stronger person (sometimes surrounded by peers) intimidating a smaller “different” student who is has less social support.
2. Victims cannot stand up for themselves. Asking victims to be more assertive and stand up for themselves or to ignore the bullying will not be effective because bullies choose victims who oppose violence and whose personalities are not assertive.
3. Victims are frequently victimized twice, first by the bully’s actions, and then by the feeling of abandonment which comes when their friends do not stand up for them.
4. Peer involvement must be encouraged, but direct challenges to the bully can be risky. Just as an adult may hesitate to confront an armed robber as they hold up the bank, a student may be harmed by directly confronting a bully. However, just as the adult may call the police to report the robber, a student should tell authority figures (teachers) about bullies. Frequently, teachers discourage students from “tattling”, but there is a difference between tattling (which is done to get attention for the tattler) and telling a teacher that a fellow student is in trouble. At the very least, peers should comfort the victim after the bully leaves.
5. Bullying among girls generally takes the form of slander, spreading untrue rumors, or exclusion. This may be just as damaging psychologically, as physical forms of bullying, and suitable consequences must follow to reduce this behavior.
6. Most bullying goes unreported. Craig & Pepler (1996) found that playground supervisors were aware of only 17% of bullying events and responded to only 23% of the events they observed. Adults intervened only 4% of the time, while peers intervened 11% of the time.
7. Most bullying occurs at school. Olweiss (2006) reports three times as much bullying occurs at school in the elementary grades, and two times as much in Jr. High and High School.
8. Aggression is a choice people make.
9. Lectures to students on bullying, without consequences for bullying behavior are unlikely to be effective. The bullies may not pay attention, or may not recognize themselves as being a bully. Staff training that develops consistent definitions of bullying, and consistent consequences will be more effective, but only if those definitions and consequences are applied.
10. Bullies will generally deny or minimize the impact of their behavior on others with comments such as “I didn’t mean it”. Davis (2007) observes the following hierarchy of denial. Only level e should be accepted.
a. Denial: “I didn’t do anything.
b. Externalizing: “I did something but it wasn’t my fault.”
c. Minimizing: I did a little something”
d. Accepting consequences: “I got punished because I called names, hit someone, or started a rumor.”
e. Accepting negative effects of behavior on others: “I hurt Jenna when I called her stupid.”
11. Many bullies are happy, self-confident, and popular. The stereotype of bullies as being misfit losers is frequently untrue.
12. Fair consequences for bullying must be uniformly applied. Frequently, “good kids”, athletes or other preferred students are given more lenient punishment. This creates resentment among other students and should be avoided.
13. TV violence erodes natural aversion to violence and may increase bullying. (Huesman et al, 2003)
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